Monday, December 15, 2008

No one told me...

...that dressing a toddler would be akin to wrestling a wild raccoon.

...that after years of learning to eat slowly, I would eat my dinner as fast as I possibly could.

...that after professing my hatred of boob-tube babysitting, I would rely on Barney in order to go to the bathroom in peace.

...that my once carefully decorated house would become a museum of primary-colored plastic.

I really could go on and on. Am I missing anything?


Tara said...

Oh ... it gets so much better.
Like when he turns 5, and decides he doesn't want to go to school and you have to drag him out of the top bunk, bath him, dress him, feed him, brush his teeth, drag him out to the end of the lane and push him on the bus because he's so stubborn that he would likely just stand with his arms crossed until the bus drove away.
Or when he finds some scissors and cuts up the couch because he "doesn't like it".
Or when they start tearing wallpaper off ... just for something to do.
I could go on, but I'm too tired.

michele bowman photography said...

my poor neighbour...
wait till he gives himself or his brother a haircut (that's always fun) & it's always fun when they figure out how to use matches and nearly start a fire

i thought i heard soft whimpering coming from across the street!


Lee said...

I can already hear Carol getting behind the whole "couch and wallpaper thing".

"Hey, we need a new couch. The kid cut up this one. Can the next one be a chocolate leather? Oh, and take a look at these paint swatches while you're here. I think the kid is going to peel wallpaper tomorrow."

Amy D said...

..Ok no one said that I would be wearing fleece and stretch clothes and going out in public in crocs and slippers..
...or what about when you realize most of your shirts and pants are stained by children wiping their mouths and hands on you..
..or realizing that you can't flip the cushion on your couch because the other side is already stained with orange paint..
..or realizing that your car floor looks like the floor after a frat party..

Tara said...

It's best to be prepared. It's not "if" ... it's definately "when".
Add a puppy into the mix to chew up your new furniture, and happy hour comes a little earlier each day.

Amy D said...

Oh and Carol don't for get Noggin says "It's preschool on tv" so you are fine :)

Lee said...

Hmmm... floor after a frat party. I dunno. I've never been to a frat party where all they had were bananas, goldfish crackers and Matchbox cars.

But then again, I didn't go to York U.

OH! BURN! (I know that 99% of you have no idea what I'm talking about, but there's 1% out there feeling the burn right now. Trust me.)