...that dressing a toddler would be akin to wrestling a wild raccoon.
...that after years of learning to eat slowly, I would eat my dinner as fast as I possibly could.
...that after professing my hatred of boob-tube babysitting, I would rely on Barney in order to go to the bathroom in peace.
...that my once carefully decorated house would become a museum of primary-colored plastic.
I really could go on and on. Am I missing anything?