Monday, May 26, 2008

At least the kid's got manners

I think Lee thinks I’m spending too much time at drive-through establishments. The kid’s speech has been getting more and more diverse and this has turned into a typical conversation:

Me: Jack, would you like more strawberries? What do you say?

Jack: Peeeeeze

Me: Here you go. (handing him strawberries)

Jack: Kack-oooo (translation: ‘thank-you’---which, interestingly enough, is the same word for cracker. At least when he starts throwing racial slurs I can just say, 'No, no... he really said, 'thank you'.)

Me: You’re welcome.

Jack: Habaniceday! Bye-bye! (waving vigorously)

Apparently, all that’s missing is the enthusiastic ‘Come again!’ at the end.

We’ve been working pretty hard on drilling basic songs into his head, as well. The kid can now sing ‘Twinkle-Twinkle’, and the ‘ABC’s’(well, up to about the letter J, after that, he only goes with every third letter’). His appreciation for fine musical arrangements has also extended to this:

Around 10:00 am every day, he comes running into my office yelling, ‘lowlowlowlowlowlow’ and pointing to my laptop.

I’m concerned. I guess it’s time to start censoring… But first, I'm working on teaching him how to act out the part where they say '...turned around and gave that big booty a smack.'

Wouldn't that just be precious?

In other, non-child-related news, I’ve been working on a long post about our trip to the National Stationery Show in NYC. I’m hoping to squeeze a little free time later this evening and get everyone updated.

Also, be sure to check the main site tomorrow morning. I've designed a brand-new bunch of cards just in time for Summer.

Habaniceday!!! Bye-bye!

Sunday, May 25, 2008

If Only She'd Told The Cop She Was In Labor...

New York is a rather awe-inspiring city and sometimes it amazes me how different ways of life evolve in different places in the world.

For example, the pre-emptive honk was something that I've only ever encountered in New York and always struck me as terribly efficient.  The cabbies don't wait to find out if you're gonna be asleep on the green.  They honk *before* the light turns green, just to make sure you're alert enough to go on the green when it comes.

I love that.

We were awfully lucky that a similar phenomenon doesn't take place on the sidewalks.  Carol has four weeks to go before the kid gets a brother, and walking posed a bit of a challenge.  And I'm not sure if you've met many women with four weeks to go, but I think if anyone were to honk at her, they would probably end up dead.  Or with urine on their shoes.  Either or.

I now know what "ambling" is.

But pregnancy didn't make the whole trip slow.  Don't ask Carol about the $163 ticket she got in Pennsylvania.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Petsmart for Potty Training

Carol's been telling me about something called "elimination communication".  Basically, it's when you take the diaper off the kid, let him run around naked, and watch for the times he goes to the bathroom.  It's supposed to help with potty training.

I'm not sure if "communication" is necessarily the right word.

It seems kind of messy, so I'm trying to convince her to wait until summer when we can put him outside.  Pee freely, nekkid nature boy, pee freely.

I already have an area all set for him.  I killed the patch of grass last year and have the seed put down, so the lawn will be fresh and new and pristine.  I figure my neighbor's dog always goes for my nicest area, so outdoor poopers must have a thing for good turf.

As I was laying down the new seed, I thought maybe it would be nice if I put up a little fence to keep him safe.  Then the bigger picture flashed before me, and I realized that a naked 2 year old crapping in a fenced-in pen might draw some unwanted attention and social worker visits.

Accordingly, that corkscrew anchor thingie with a leash would probably be out of the question too.