Saturday, August 29, 2009

Weekly Contest Rules

So we thought we'd institute a running contest.  Every week, we grab a name off of facebook and send them a free card.  Simple, right?  

But in order to make it seem all official and stuff, we thought we'd better set some ground rules.  (This part is especially difficult since we don't really want to commit to anything, y'know?  We don't want to miss some promised draw date and have you sending your lawyers after us.)


Once a week, probably on the Monday or Tuesday (But maybe the Wednesday or Sunday.  Never a Friday.  Except in emergencies.) we will open up our facebook page and look at the little box that shows our fans.  Whoever happens to be on the top of the list gets a card!

Easy, right?

We'll practice reverse-discrimination and if you happen to be someone we know or see at least twice a year, we won't send you a damned thing and we'll move on to the next person on the list.  It sucks, we know, but we figure our friendship should be reward enough.  And you get cards from us anyways.  It's called Christmas.  (Except last year.  Sorry, we were busy.)  

No other rules.  

Sound good?  


Sunday, August 2, 2009

If I Was A Cop, I'd Just Park At The End Of A Taco Bell Drive-Thru Starting At 11 Every Night...

As we drove home from a day of Home Depoting, Lowe'sing and Harbor Freighting, we stopped to get a bite to eat.  

Not knowing the neighborhood, we grabbed the first thing we saw; Del Taco.  The big sign says "39cent tacos from 11am to 11pm".  So, being cheap,  I order 4 tacos.  Carol orders a combo.  Carol's order involves all sorts of extravagance as well as fries.  This apparently was too difficult for the people working, so they just shoved 7 tacos in the bag and sent us on our way.  By the time we had sifted through the bag of cheap meat and wilted lettuce to notice that all the items were exactly the same, we were too far to turn around.  Cost of gas versus the cost of tacos, it would've been like 3 tacos worth of gas to go back and complain.

And who likes spit in their food?  (You can't see, but my hand's not up.)

So we continued on our way, with our eyes peeled for something that might replace Carol's quesadilla.  The options were crazy and it struck us that if you don't mind eating crap these days, crap is plentiful and cheap.  $5 Hot-N-Ready pizza.  3 buck Whopper Jr meals.  2 for $4 subs at Arby's.  A buck for something which is apparently crunchy and covered in bacon and cheddar at Checker's.  (The meat wasn't specified.  I'm not sure if they're hoping that some people will eat anything covered in bacon and cheddar?)   

I'm just finishing my $1.56th taco and starting on number five when Carol pulls into White Castle. 67 cent sliders.  Minus pops and fries, we could manage to make two adults grotesquely full for less than five dollars.

And as we pull back out into traffic, I scan the array of food and wrappers in the front of the car and pray that we don't get pulled over for any stupid reason.  Cuz the drug dogs would be getting a call for sure.