Sunday, April 26, 2009

Only One Ripped Cover So Far. I'm On A Streak.

I've always been a sucker for games of chance.  As much as I might hate them, I'm drawn to them, with that grand delusion that I'm luckier than the average human being.  That somehow luck is a skill which I've honed.  Or I have ESP.  

(On a very long side note, did any one else go through about a 4 year period in their childhood where they believed that they had ESP?  Or at least the childhood version of ESP that includes telekinesis and anything else cool that you could possibly do with your mind?  And would you spend hours staring at spoons and glasses trying to get them to move?  And then finally give up and try to mentally summon the local poltergeist to come and just move the shit for you?  No?  Just me? )

The problem with games of chance is that you have to be prepared to lose.  And you should never bet more than you're willing to let go.  And the fickle hand of fate that deals winnings is the same that deals the losers.

Last week, when I got home from the library with the big one, I realized that taking kid's stuff out of the library is an awful lot like roulette.  We open up Richard Scarry's Mr. Paint Pig's ABC's and the "lift-and-look" flaps are all hanging precariously.  Will my child be the one who overexuberantly seeks out what happens as garbage truck backs up?  Or will the worn paper hold long enough to make it to another house?  So that another sheepish parent can go up to the librarian's desk and mutter, "My kid wrecked this book.  How much do I owe?"

My hands sweat and shake at bedtime storytime.  

Shuffle up and deal.


Tara said...

I think you're ignoring another big one ... will they colour in the library books. Mine have. I couldn't sleep thinking about what the librarian was going to do to me. Turned out, she said it was fine. Go figure.

Lee said...

Crayons?? Outside of the designated "crayon coloring area"??? Oh, the horror.

Our librarian still made us pay for the torn cover. I thought that she'd knock off a bit for depreciation and wear and tear, but no such luck. I've never paid full price for anything, and $17 for a pocket board book just hurts.

Rizzyred said...

We actually took our kids to the library right before an hour long car ride to the mountains and were convinced that the middle one had thrown the book out the window going about 70mph. I've never been in such a panic! And not because of what a book can do at 70... that never occurred to me - I was in fear of the librarian! We were told we could pay for it or replace it. I immediately went to Amazon only to find that the book was out of print. Figures. Knowing I was going to have to pay up for this book I found myself avoiding the library... Yes, I'm a coward. I didn't want them to know the parent of the kid that throws books out of the car window.

A few weeks later I found the book...

Do you have to be a kid to think you have ESP!? I still think I have it. I have my husband convinced I have it, too... he never seems to consider that I've known him for 15 years and he's predictable, so I let him think I'm psychic.

Lee said...

Yes Liz, you have to be a kid to think you have ESP. Otherwise, "what a great imagination" turns into "what a crazy *****" in a quickness.

It's one of those totally unfair things like footsy sleepers in public. Cute when you're one. Weird anywhere after twenty. Y'know? Totally unfair.

Rizzyred said...

Darn! Now I have to get rid of my footsie pj's, too!?

Do they make those for adults?? I think a good reference in this situation would also be Crocks.

Tara said...

"Designated crayon area"? Oh, jeez. I needed a good laugh this morning. Just wait. Your kids are still too young to have started on the "destroy the house, and do it with flair" path.
In a few years, once someone has ripped a hole in the window screen to see the fork drop to the ground outside, you'll remember this "conversation" and curse me for jinxin' you.