Sunday, August 2, 2009

If I Was A Cop, I'd Just Park At The End Of A Taco Bell Drive-Thru Starting At 11 Every Night...

As we drove home from a day of Home Depoting, Lowe'sing and Harbor Freighting, we stopped to get a bite to eat.  

Not knowing the neighborhood, we grabbed the first thing we saw; Del Taco.  The big sign says "39cent tacos from 11am to 11pm".  So, being cheap,  I order 4 tacos.  Carol orders a combo.  Carol's order involves all sorts of extravagance as well as fries.  This apparently was too difficult for the people working, so they just shoved 7 tacos in the bag and sent us on our way.  By the time we had sifted through the bag of cheap meat and wilted lettuce to notice that all the items were exactly the same, we were too far to turn around.  Cost of gas versus the cost of tacos, it would've been like 3 tacos worth of gas to go back and complain.

And who likes spit in their food?  (You can't see, but my hand's not up.)

So we continued on our way, with our eyes peeled for something that might replace Carol's quesadilla.  The options were crazy and it struck us that if you don't mind eating crap these days, crap is plentiful and cheap.  $5 Hot-N-Ready pizza.  3 buck Whopper Jr meals.  2 for $4 subs at Arby's.  A buck for something which is apparently crunchy and covered in bacon and cheddar at Checker's.  (The meat wasn't specified.  I'm not sure if they're hoping that some people will eat anything covered in bacon and cheddar?)   

I'm just finishing my $1.56th taco and starting on number five when Carol pulls into White Castle. 67 cent sliders.  Minus pops and fries, we could manage to make two adults grotesquely full for less than five dollars.

And as we pull back out into traffic, I scan the array of food and wrappers in the front of the car and pray that we don't get pulled over for any stupid reason.  Cuz the drug dogs would be getting a call for sure. 


Kate said...

Oh god, you just said the dreaded "C" word...Checkers. We don't have a Checkers anywhere close to us, so we have to strategically plan out vacations to places where Checkers thrive just to get our fix. October can't get here soon enough!

Rizzyred said...

Mmmm... bacon. Bacon makes me happy. I think they're right in thinking that the meat is an insignificant detail when bacon and cheese are involved.

Am I the only person who will eat a veggie burger and top it bacon? Applewood Smoked bacon?

I'm hungry.

smartchic said...

this post makes me hungry too! i agree, crappy foods are the best - cheap and plentiful :)

Lee said...

This post reminds me of that thing before the Beijing Olympics where that guy faked the video of the street vendor selling some kind of prepared cardboard as a snack.

I think if you fried cardboard just right, put some bacon and cheese on it and stuck it in a bun, you could probably sell it.